Audrey recently received an assignment to write a book for the Young Author's Conference. She chose to write a "funny fiction". It was so cute that I had to share it... Enjoy! 
Chores, chores, chores! I hate doing chores! My mom says that I shouldn’t use the word “hate”. She says that “dislike” is a more acceptable, more polite word to use. But I whole-heartedly hate doing chores! Fold my clothes, make my bed, dust my room, vacuum the floors… it never ends. I continued to complain to myself as I began to vacuum the floor. Duke, my Boxer, strode into my room and barked and nodded toward the door. He wanted to go outside to play. I turned off the vacuum cleaner and squatted next to him and rubbed his favorite spot just behind his ears. “I want to go outside too, Duke, but I have to finish my chores,” I explained. “I wish we could be anywhere but here, even the moon would be more fun.” I stood up and just as I reached for the vacuum cleaner it started to rumble like a rocket ship about to blast off. The vacuum 
cleaner began to hover above the floor about a foot or so. I wrapped my arms and legs around it, as if I was hugging it for dear life. Worried he would be left behind, Duke latched on with his teeth to the tail of my shirt. Then we blasted up the chimney.
As we were flying over my neighbor’s house, I saw Mr. Monkers walking his cat, Tom, down the street. I will never understand why anyone would walk a cat on a leash! It seems like a crazy thing to do, but Mr. Monkers isn’t known for being the sanest member of our neighborhood. I waved to him and yelled, “Hi, Mr. Monkers!” He looked around him and then up and down the street. Seeing no one, he shrugged. I guess he didn’t think to look up into the sky. I mean, it’s not every day that an eight-year-old and her dog take a ride on her mother’s vacuum cleaner. Now the neighborhood looked more like my Lego village. Duke barked as we flew over my school. The cars looked like tiny ants lined up in a row. After about five minutes, I realized that we were way up in the sky. That’s when I saw it – the signature red and blue tail wing that could only belong to a Delta jet. I flew the vacuum cleaner closer to the plane for a better view. And there, sitting in a window seat, was my dad flying home from his business meeting in Boston. He glanced out the window and I was sure that he saw me. But by the time he did a double take, Duke and I were well above the plane. I wondered what he was thinking and if he actually believed what he thought he just saw.
Once we were over the plane, the vacuum cleaner kicked into hyper drive and Duke barked as we flew out of the Earth’s atmosphere on course to the moon. The ride to the moon was quick. We landed with a bonk right next to a sizable moon crater. With Duke walking by my side, I began to explore the moon. We had only taken a few steps when a moon cat 
jumped out of the crater. I knelt down to one knee and called the raspberry purple cat to me. She jumped into my arms and let out a loud purr that I could feel against my chest. Duke started to growl at the small cat, but I told him that we had to be polite. “We are her guests, Duke. We should remember our manners.” Duke continued to growl. As I stroked the back of the purple cat’s head, I saw what was causing Duke to continue his growling. It was a cow! But it was not just any cow. It was a solid brown cow that resembled the milk chocolate bunnies that you get in your Easter basket. Duke began to run to toward the cow, barking the whole way. The purple cat and I ran quickly behind him. We reached the chocolate cow and to my surprise, the purple cat asked for three chocolate milks. I looked at the cat with a very puzzled look. Cats don’t talk, I thought to myself. Just then the cow responded, “Three chocolate milks coming right up!” “What?!?” I stammered. “Cats and cows can’t talk!” My mouth fell open with complete astonishment. “Well, I don’t know about the cats and cows where you are from, but here on the moon, we talk and rather well I might add,” the cow replied. The cow delivered three chocolate milks and Duke, the purple cat and I sat down and enjoyed them.
After we finished our milks, Duke and I were ready for a nap. Flying to the moon was very exhausting. The purple cat noticed our yawns, so she led us to the cloud station. She explained that this was where cloud beds were made for the entire moon population. Duke ran in circles on his bed, which was shaped like a bone, before he finally stretched out and went to sleep. When my bed arrived, it is shaped like a cat. “Cool,” I exclaimed, as I gave the pillow one quick fluff and settled in for a quick nap.
I woke to the sounds of puppies playing. Duke had made friends with an ocean blue moon puppy. They chased each other and tumbled over each other. They were having lots of fun. I gathered our cloud beds and returned them to the cloud station for recycling. I left Duke playing with his new friend while I explored more of the moon. I had been walking for a few minutes when my stomach began to rumble. “Want a glass of milk?” a voice said. The sound seemed to be coming from behind me. I quickly turned around to see a bubblegum pink cow standing in front of me. “Let me guess! You make strawberry milk!” I replied. “Why yes, I do,” the pink cow said very matter-of-factly. “Would you like a glass of milk?” the cow offered again. I happily took the glass of pink milk and thoroughly enjoyed it. “Thank you so much,” I said to the cow and then I was off to continue my exploration of the moon.
In the distance, I saw what appeared to be a pond. As I walked closer, I realized it was definitely a pond, just not a pond like I had seen before. This pond’s water was tangerine orange and it was full of 
orange Mahi-Mahi. In a small shed next to the pond, I found a fishing pole and fish food. I grabbed the pole and caught a 45-pound orange Mahi-Mahi on my first cast. It was amazing. I pondered how I was going to carry this enormous fish home. As I rummaged through the shed, I found a red sled in the corner covered in moon dust. I wiped off the sled with the tail of my shirt and loaded my catch onto the red slats. With three fast kicks, my fish and I sped away toward the cloud station to find Duke.
When we arrived at the cloud station, I was astonished to see Duke and his blue friend sound asleep on another bone-shaped cloud bed. The smell of my catch wafted in Duke’s direction arousing him from his nap. With a bark and a leap, Duke was by my side sniffing the orange Mahi-Mahi. Three gleeful barks told me that he approved. The purple cat appeared with a long piece of rainbow-striped rope which we used to tie the 45-pound fish to the vacuum cleaner. Duke and I waved goodbye to our new found friends – the purple cat, the blue puppy, and all of the colored cows. Then, we climbed onto the vacuum cleaner and I pressed the “on” button. The vacuum cleaner came to life with a low grumbling sound. I started the countdown. 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Blast off!!! We waved to our friends as we blasted off into space again, but this time we were headed home!
As we flew into Earth’s atmosphere, Duke barked and I screamed, “Aaaaaaah!” The heat on the vacuum cleaner was a lot warmer going back home than it was going to the moon. I hoped that my fish would not cook during our re-entry. Luckily, everything was okay and we flew quickly toward home. As we got closer to our house, I saw the same Delta jet circling near the airport. I flew the vacuum cleaner closer to the plane and hovered next to the same window where I had seen my dad before. There he was. When he turned toward the window, I grinned from ear to ear and waved to him. He blinked and rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Then, I flew away from the plane and headed on a straight course toward my house. When we reached our neighborhood, the vacuum cleaner decreased its speed and Duke and I, oh and my fish too, began to slowly float down into our backyard. Duke ran figure eights around the backyard as I untied my fish from the vacuum cleaner. After pulling the fish through the backyard to the side door of the garage, I found the biggest cooler my dad had and slid the fish inside and closed the lid. Duke and I went inside and found my mom cooking dinner. “Wash up! Dinner will be ready soon,” she called down the hall. “Is Dad home yet?” I asked. “Not yet. He just called from the airport to say he would be here soon though,” my mom replied. I washed my hands and face and headed into the kitchen. “Did you have a good day?” my mom asked. Just as I was about to answer, my dad walked in the front door. “You will never believe what happened to me on the plane today!” he declared. “I fell asleep on the plane and dreamed that you and Duke were flying next to the plane on Mom’s vacuum cleaner. You even grinned and waved to me. That is unbelievable, right?” With a big grin on my face, I said, “Yeah, completely unbelievable Dad!” Then I turned toward Duke and winked.
Claire and I worked on her eggs in the morning while Audrey was at soccer camp, giving us the one-on-one time together that all moms love and appreciate when sharing special moments like these. She did quite well following instructions and waiting patiently for the eggs to sit in the dye long enough to actually take on the color. Her eggs were beautiful! Her favorite was the simplest one of all... the blue foil wrapped egg!
Audrey and worked on her eggs in the afternoon when she came home from soccer camp and Claire was napping. I really enjoyed being able to share this experience with each of them individually. There are so many times when they "share" experiences together, it was nice to separate this one for them. Audrey was very creative with her eggs - dyeing some half and half and then adding fun beads to the middle where the two colors met. She really liked the tye-dye process and the results. She added some glitter to the eggs and loved how they sparkled in the light.
