March 18 - Going Home and Saying Goodbye

2 days old

On Wednesday, March 16th we left the hospital with our two-day-old little girl and went home - home to two anxious big sisters, one excited dog (who had no clue how much his world was about to change) and a loving grandmother who came to visit and help with the big kids while we were at the hospital.  The first night at home went smoothly - I should tell you that Emma is and has been an amazingly good baby from the beginning.  As exciting and wonderful as it was to have Emma home and finally be together as our new family of five, we also were facing a very difficult journey.  A little background here would probably be helpful - Brock's dad had been diagnosed with gastric cancer in late November/early December and the prognosis was not as favorable as we had hoped.  But the doctors thought that if he underwent chemotherapy that it might give him more time.  Unfortunately the chemo was not successful.  We received a call telling us that we needed to come to Atlanta as soon as possible.  So we got my mom a flight home on Thursday and loaded up the car that night to leave as early as possible on Friday morning (March 18). 

With a four-day-old infant and a mom who was three days post-op, the trip took almost twice as long as usual due to the increased number and lengthier stops that we had to make.  Every time that we stopped I worried that we were taking too long and would get to Atlanta too late.  But as we talked to Brock's mom and brother throughout the day we knew that his dad seemed to be holding on to see us and meet Emma. When we arrived around 6:30 that night, we went straight to his room to see him.  It was such a bittersweet moment and one that we will share with Emma when she is older.  The way Grandaddy's eyes lit up and the happiness that you could see on his face when he saw Emma was one that both warmed and broke my heart at the same time.  He wanted to hold her so Brock placed her in the crook of his dad's arm and the two of them laid there both soaking in the goodness of the moment.  When Brock started to pick up Emma , his dad said, "Just a little bit longer" and I felt my heart break just a little bit more.  Knowing that they were both going to miss out on getting to know each other seemed terribly unfair - a huge injustice to both of them and to all of the family for that matter.  I hated the fact that my children, who loved Grandaddy so very, very much, were in a sense being robbed.  I have tried over the past two months to look at our loss in as positive of a way as possible.  Grandaddy instilled a love of music in Audrey and she is blossoming into a very talented musician, both with the piano and guitar.  She composes her own music and I know that the love she has for it is in great part to the music that she shared with Grandaddy throughout her childhood.  He instilled a love of nature in Claire, who is always wanting to know more about animals and plants, and I wish terribly that I had half the knowledge that Grandaddy had about birds and such.  While he only had a few days with Emma, I know that the stories and memories that we share with her about her Grandaddy will be positive influences in her life.  

Grandaddy was the best grandfather.  He wasn't afraid to play with the children or share stories from his life with them.  He  played music for them and they in turn danced and danced in the den (or wherever we were), he took them fishing, never making a difference in what the boys (or boy, in this case) could do over the girls.  They were just as capable in his eye as what any boys could do and as a mom of three girls I loved that about him.  He took the whole family on beach vacations where he always took all of the grandchildren crab hunting - and inevitably was always bitten by one.  The grandchildren loved spending time with him and he enjoyed spending time with them just as much.  He was a very "hands-on" grandparent and I am thankful for every moment that my children had to spend with him. 

When I think about how much has changed since we found out in August that we were expecting a very unexpected baby, it seems like God knew that we would need an angel to help us through the hard times ahead so He sent Emma to us.  Just holding her makes the hole in heart not hurt so much.  In the first days after Grandaddy passed, Emma helped everyone.  It is hard to be quite so sad when you see this perfect little person in your arms... this perfect little person who life has just begun and has the whole world ahead of her.  We still miss Grandaddy every day and I know that we will always miss him.  But I look forward to sharing his stories and memories with all of our children.  Below is a short slideshow with some of our favorite photos of Grandaddy...

March 14 - Here Comes Baby!

So it's Monday, March 14th, approximately 6:30 in the a.m., we have made it through registration and are settled into the birthing suite.  The nurses came in and started all of the wonderful paperwork that has to be completed and they readied me for my IV and such.  Inductions, in my opinion, are great!  Everything runs smoothly...  For me, it just made the whole experience much more relaxed and enjoyable.  The nurses were concerned that this delivery might progress too quickly this time around since my labor with Claire was only two hours start to finish, so they started my epidural earlier than usual  that  way I wouldn't miss the window of opportunity to get it.  So while I was only 3 cm and with pain ranking a mere 2 on the 10 point scale, the wonderful anesthesiologist came in to start my epidural.  Now this did slow my labor progression but I was in absolutely zero pain so I did not see that as a problem. Here is a photo to show you how Brock and I spent the couple of hours waiting for everything to progress...

Notice the iPad is sitting on the table next to Brock's leg... We watched a movie and then some stand-up comedians... Nothing like some good laughs before delivering a baby. ;) Speaking of having a baby, here's a photo of me in labor...

See why epidurals are such great things... "Active labor" and not one ounce of pain! :)  The pitocin drip was started around 9:00 a.m. and around 2:00 p.m. the nurse called the doctor in... It was showtime!  The doctor came in and checked my progression and said that Emma was ready to greet the world.  One, two, three pushes and here she was! (Thank you Pilates!!!)  Our perfect little baby girl, Emma Catherine Ballard said "Hello World!" at 2:25 p.m. on the 14th of March 2011.  Brock cut her umbilical cord (just like he did with all of our children) and then the nurses weighed, measured and scored our little bundle - 7 lbs 2 oz, 19.5 inches and 9s on both Apgar tests.  See... I told you she was perfect!  Here are some photos of Emma shortly after delivery...

 

We spent the rest of the afternoon loving, holding and just soaking in all of the goodness that comes with a new baby.  My mom brought the "Big Sisters" to visit later that day and they were so excited to meet their new little sister.  I had the most adorable shirts made for them that said "Big Sis Audrey" and "Big Sis Claire".  Emma had a gown that said "Lil Sis Emma".  (You will see the shirts/gown in one of the photos below.) Claire was the most excited I think because she was finally a big sister like Audrey.  We explained that they are both special roles because Audrey is now a double big sister and Claire is now a big and little sister.  Emma has a special role too being a double little sister.  Our hope is that these "special" roles will help alleviate any issues with being labeled the "oldest", "middle" and "baby" later.  Here are some photos of the big sisters meeting the little sister...

Claire couldn't wait to hold Emma...

Daddy and his three girls :)

Audrey holding Emma

Claire holding Emma

The Girls!

 Three Sisters

I'm Back and Ready to Blog Again...

It's hard to believe that so much has happened in the past two months...  There have been ups and downs, good times and bad times and my plan is to catch you up on all of the happenings in the next few posts. I am going to blog them in chronological order with the date and subject in the title so I hope you are able to follow without too much confusion...

My last entry was all about my maternity photos and how wonderful my pregnancy had been. That was Friday, March 11th. My doctor upped my due date to Monday the 14th so there was a lot of things to get ready for the big day and only a few days left to get them finished. My mom flew in on Saturday and she helped me finish the few things left on the to do list. Our contractor worked some miracles and got the exterior of our house painted and 99% of the interior punch list completed. I have to say that the big belly has quite the persuasive power. Sunday (the 13th) was a relatively relaxed day. We spent the day together for the last time as a family of four. As I expected, I had a hard time going to sleep that might because I knew that little Emma was going to make her big debut the next day and the excitement was overflowing. Knowing that I needed rest so I would actually have the energy to deliver my precious baby enabled me to get a few hours of sleep. We had to be at the hospital at 6 am on Monday so we did our hugs and kisses with Audrey and Claire that night. Monday morning came quickly after four short hours of sleep, but the excitement of a new baby got the adrenaline pumping and put an extra bounce in our steps. And as is my usual M.O., we were running a few minutes behind.  Brock kept telling me that we had to go, but I kept thinking, "Really? It's not like they are going to deliver the baby without me... I am the incubator after all. :)"  Here is one last photo of me and the belly outside the hospital.

Maternity Photo Session

My good friend, Alison, took some fabulous photos of me and the belly today.  We went to Highland Beach Park, which is a great beach just down the street from us.  At first I thought I might be a bit apprehensive about flaunting the belly in public, but it turns out I am obviously not that shy.  Pregnancy is such a special time and I am so thankful that I was able to have this moment captured.  Alison did a wonderful job photographing it.  The pictures speak for themselves, so enjoy! :)

37 weeks with a big belly

Disclaimer... Some details from my doctor's visit will be found in this post so if you don't care to read about that click away now or just skip the first section... :)

37 Weeks with a BIG belly

So I am now 37 weeks and went for a checkup yesterday with my amazing OB.  I have been having a lot of inconsistent contractions the last week or so.  At my 36 week checkup I had already dilated 1.5 cm and  was 50% effaced, so I was anxious to know if these off and on contractions of late had actually caused any further progression.  Well, they obviously had - at least a little bit.  I was 2.5 cm dilated and 60% effaced yesterday and the doctor seemed a bit surprised.  She upped my delivery date from the 21st to the 14th and told me to "take it easy" so that I would make it until then.

I really don't know how you "take it easy" when you have other children, ongoing construction and a 14-day to do list that now has to be crammed into 6 days, but I will prevail.  I know I have to get more realistic with my to do list and not worry about the parts of the construction that won't be complete before Emma comes home, but I want it all... You know I am the "have my cake and eat it too" kind of person.. Not necessarily a terrible fault, but not the best attribute to have either.

Emma's nursery is 99% complete. It would be 100% but Pottery Barn Kids threw a huge wrench into my plans.  I had ordered an adorable table lamp and shade over two months ago and the shade was on back order (of course) until March 3rd. No big deal, right?  I mean my due date is toward the end of the month, so no worries... Well, that was the case until I got an e-mail update from PBK telling me that my adorable shade had been delayed again until April 4th.  What?!?  So as of now I have a lamp base with no shade... not very pretty... but I am going to look for a temporary replacement shade today.  I say "temporary" because I still want this adorable shade from PBK (of course - the whole cake thing applies here too)...  Isn't it precious?

It goes very well with the rest of Emma's decor and will perfectly complete the nursery, but not until April ,I guess. :)  Anyway, I hope to get some photos of the nursery posted soon... So be on the lookout for those...  

Oh... Another update is that I had to unfortunately cancel my maternity session for the 17th because, well, let's face it, I won't be pregnant anymore... But I have a good friend, Alison, that is going to take some photos of me and the belly at the beach this week. She has great talent for photography and, even though she doesn't, she really should consider doing it professionally... So I will have maternity photos to post soon and I have a newborn session scheduled for Emma when we get home from the hospital... I am really looking forward to both of those shoots...

36 1/2 weeks...

 

Wow!  Where has the time gone?  It seems like we just found out that we were expecting and now we are just over two weeks away from Emma's arrival!  While I didn't think it was possible, my belly has grown bigger.  She has also dropped a bit which is nice for my breathing but not so great for my bladder ;)  Overall, I am feeling really good.  I get tired quicker but nothing that a short session of feet propping doesn't fix.  Brock jokingly reminds me that I now have a full-on waddle walk but what do you expect with a big belly and hips that are getting ready to birth a baby.  He also tells me how beautiful I am and that makes me feel very special. I love the way he and the girls love the belly.  Claire gives Emma kisses every day.  The first time she gave my belly a big hug and kiss the conversation went like this:

Claire:  (Big hug and kiss on the belly) I love you!

Mom: I love you too Claire!

Claire: I wasn't talking to you Mommy.  I was talking to Baby Emma!

Mom: Oh...

Everyone is getting excited about Emma's arrival and we are very close to being ready -- if you can ever actually be "ready".  But the construction is nearing the end and is almost finished on the inside -- just a few small details to complete.  The house may not be painted and the landscaping will probably not be completely installed before she gets here but I guess I will have to just learn to live with that.   Her nursery is complete so "Victory!" there. But I still have two weeks and a really big belly to convince our contractor to move quickly.  So maybe it will all work out and I can have my cake and eat it too. :)

Audrey and Claire attended a sibling class at the hospital, where I will deliver, a few weeks ago.  We toured the maternity wing, saw a brand-new newborn (a nice refresher of just how small newborns actually are), made onesies for Emma with their handprint and talked with the nurse about what you can and can't do with a new baby and how they could be big helpers to Mom and Dad.  It was a fun class and they both had a great time.  We have also made a countdown chain to countdown the days until Emma's scheduled delivery.  Did I mention that?  Our doctor has picked the 21st of March to be Emma's birthday.  It is also the first day of spring.  Yeah! Anyway, the countdown chain counts down the number of nights that the girls have to go to sleep before Emma is born.  We make these chains for things like this and other events like counting down until grandparents visit, etc.  It is fun because every day you get to see the chain get shorter and it helps the kids, especially Claire, visualize how much longer we have to wait.  It also helps me not have to answer the never-ending question of "When will Baby Emma be here?"  A photo of the countdown chain is below...

 Another thing that I am very excited about is my maternity photo session that I have scheduled for March 17th (so I hope that Emma doesn't come before then).  I am excited about the session because I love my baby bump and look forward to having it professionally captured.  We are going to shoot the maternity session at the beach -- I mean, that's where we live and what an amazing background to be able to use.  So pray for a sunny day with blue skies and no labor! :) The photographer is also going to shoot a newborn session of Emma at home so be on the lookout for those great photos later.

I will try to get more blogging in before Emma's delivery, so stay tuned!  

29 Weeks

So the belly is HUGE and I still have 11 weeks to go at this point... I'm thinking I might not make it to the end of March, but we will see...  As large as the belly is, my weight gain is still hovering right around 12-13 pounds.  As most people have told me, the weight is all in my belly which is a good thing.  Especially since my brother and his fiance just set the date for their wedding to be August 6th - that's only five months after my due date!  It's is not that I am actually in the wedding party, but one must still look good as the sister of the groom.  I mean, there will be photos taken! ;) But I digress...

So at 29 weeks, I went for my regular doctor's visit and everything looked good.  I passed my second glucose tolerance test (the yucky 3-hour one) and was very happy about that.  At the end of the appointment my doctor said "We'll see you in 2 weeks".  This caught me off guard... What?  I'm not that far along yet, am I?  Well, I guess I am because I am going to see the doctor on Monday for my now "Every 2 weeks" checkup (I am a bit behind in blogging because I am now 31 weeks hence why I am going to the doctor in two days)... I know this means that the remainder of my pregnancy will begin to fly by.  While part of me is anxious and excited to finally hold our little bundle of joy, there is a small part of me that loves being pregnant and doesn't want to give up the special moments that I get to share with the baby - you know, the flutters and kicks that you feel all of the time and the closeness that you have because she is with you, a part of you, I'm not really sure how to describe it but I know that all of you Moms out there know what I am talking about.  Maybe I am just feeling this way because I know 100% that she is the last baby that I will carry and while I am very settled with that decision, it is still just a little sad.  However, I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to experience pregnancy one more time.  Many of you know, Brock and I thought that our family was complete and had made plans and appointments made to have permanent measures taken.  But one month before those plans were to be carried out, we were given a wonderful surprise!  I believe that we were meant to have three children and that God has special plans for each of them.